Part 2

So, we left our travelers at the train station in Goa awaiting a train to Kochi and then a change in seats on the same train to Trivandrum to our yoga retreat. We waited in the station for what should have been 40 minutes, but turned into almost 2 hours. Alex befriended all of the local station dogs, as she is the dog whisperer and within about 20 minutes, we were surrounded by random Indian men...which is nothing new. To the left we had 2 young school boys (well, about 22ish, but they seemed like boys)and to our right we had 2 dodgy perverts that kept asking if we were married and kicking the dogs, which seems to be some sort of mating call that Indian man/boys do to lure to attention of females. It is disgusting! We maintained our wits and teetered between talking about America and Universities with the young geeks and trying to ignore the ever encroaching on our personal space perverts on our right. Finally, the train arrived, but that delay was only foreshadowing events to come unbeknown to us! We found our seats and were overjoyed to discover that it was a private room for just the two of us so no new friends and then continued with the usual routine of making up the "beds" with the clean sheets provided...they are acceptable, but the woolen blankets are not to be used not matter how cold one is. Next, we get out all the items we will need to get us through an overnight train journey on an Indian train (Nintendo DS lite, Ipods, toilet paper, bug spray, deck of cards and a book) and then we discuss how much we need to use the toilet, but DO NOT want to and that continues for about 30 minutes until we are at red alert and must go. Then, we return and discuss our rating for how disgusting that toileting experience was from 1 to 10. Then, we tuck into one of our activities until we finally driftish to sleepish. This train ride was especially memorable, as there were a myriad of bed bugs that attacked us throughout the night and have somehow built up a resistance to the bug spray we brought...therefore we will be switching to some form of radiation for our next journey. We never actually made it to Kochi, as there was a landslide that covered the train track due to the monsoon. Of course, we were not to find this factoid of information out for several hours, as we were just left and forgotten about in the scamper of all the Indian passengers trying to sort out their tickets. Eventually, some man took pity on us and told us that we had to go to another train station to catch another train to Trivandrum, as the train has been cancelled...this coming only after several other people, including the train conductor, told us that the train would simply be delayed for 7 hours and to stay put. Ok, so simple enough...go stand in the "cue" and get the ticket sorted and get to the other train station and leave. Well, nothing is that simple in India. Luckily, I have stood in a "cue" at the train station before and understood the ways of the Indian cue. First of all, women can cue jump, but you have to be strong and brutal and take no prisoners so off I went to push in front, elbow multiple men (which is a passive aggressive way of releasing my frustrations on all the Indian men who have taken advantage of us and ripped us off on this trip so it feels GREAT) and just shove my ticket into the information clerks face and demand he write some note on it and tell me where to go. "Go outside, wait for the free bus, and go to Manglore train station for the train that leaves at 2:30pm." So off we went and sat for about an hour watching a woman throw up orange coloured liquid and curry on the ground, some men spitting flemmy bits and being harassed by every rickshaw driver in the area...did the free bus ever come...no it didn't...did we know this was going to happen...on some level, probably yes, but we were hopeful. Eventually, we sucked it up, got a taxi and went on the bumpiest most nauseating ride to the other train station we have ever experienced. Alex almost vomited, but held it back and we eventually made it to the train where some American Citizen Indian from North Carolina (very proud of this fact) told us what to do and where to go...he was very nice and turned out to be sitting in one of the seats next to us. Then, came the Whiskey...bless this little alcoholic man with a gambling problem. Of course, in India you cannot drink on trains or anywhere really as it is a bit taboo, but he snuck a bottle on and sipped it out of a paper sack like a homeless until one stop when a police officer sat in the other seat near us and he had to be sneaky and weird to drink it down. Bless him for helping us, but he told us of his heart conditions and agonizing indigestion...alcoholism is a terrible disease...So, 17 hours later (of course we were told the train ride would take 9 hours, but whose counting a measly little 8 hours)we arrived at 5:15am...yes, we did have some fresh new bed bug bites to scratch as well. Due to the fact that we were a day late, we missed our ride to the yoga retreat and had to navigate ourselves to some hotel where they would let us use the phone...yes, he charged me and no he did not give me change back for my 10 rupees...but, we did eventually get picked up and made it to the yoga retreat. What a gorgeous place this retreat is...away from everyone and everything and after that experience, was a true slice of peace pie for us...but that was yesterday. We walk up a tiny uphill alley way to a wooden door...yes it was a bit scary, yes we were a bit skeptical, but when that door opened, it was like our own little secret garden...without the annoying wheelchair bound kid. There is a huge pool surrounded by red hibiscus flowers and all the sounds of nature (not the scary ones, but the relaxing ones) and lush greenery as far as the eye can see. The main building is a four level Indian mansion with wooden floors and clean pristine lines with very little useless clutter, but enough trinkets and furniture to make it very special and quaint with a touch of India and spice. The room we have is huge and delightful, but there is no television or air conditioner (though it is not needed) and it gets eerily quiet at night. We climbed up the 5 flights of stairs to the enclosed rooftop terrace with wooden table and chairs and two swings on either side...one a wicker cage swing and the other a wooden plank swing with two ornate pillows on either end to lay a weary head on. We sat down to the most delicious Indian breakfast, which we have been avoiding, which was a rice/coconut log role with vegetables inside...what a treat. Then, we were told that all the meals were included and this was heaven, as they cost 1000 rupees a day extra each person if they are not included, and we cannot afford that. Well, that was yesterday and this is today. Stay tuned for Part 3 of this saga...again, a trailer to tantalize your ears and minds. Imagine if you will, two weary travellers, well fed, swimming in a crisp clean pool awaiting their Aryuveduic Foot Massage Treatment which lasts 2 hours and is supposed to relax every muscle in the body, not just the feet, as I naively thought. Imagine if you will...me and a female masseuse...Al and a female masseuse, two tables, a bucket of water and a tub of soy sauce smelling oil...oh and you HAVE to be totally naked for 2 hours alone in a room with a strange Indian woman and a noose hanging from the ceiling...please join us again for part 3 of this amazing tale!