A letter to New Zealand

Dear New Zealand,
I have been here for about 3 days now and I just have a few questions for you really and I hope that you can help me with them. I understand that it must be very challenging to have to overcome the shadow of Australia in which you live, but are all of these extreme adrenaline activities really necessary? I mean, Ashley Simpson sang a song about living in her sister's shadow and I bet she is still living off those royalties...perhaps a song might be cathartic and give you an outlet for your inferiority complex, as I just don't feel it is healthy to pontificate with activities such as the bungy swing and the sky jump. I also understand that you have an influx of cows, sheep an flightless birds and this too must make you feel quite ashamed when compared to Australia's amazing array of animals such as the koala, kangaroo and wallaby...to name a few. I think that it is unfair that you over compensate by offering your tourists death defying activities that might cause great harm in a way of competing with Australia...is it a size thing? know you are a bit smaller, well let's face it, you are minuscule to Australia, but that is no reason to create things such as the Ropes Course in which you make people climb and swing from random poles and bars suspended 20m above ground...or the super speed boat that goes at dizzyingly fast speeds such as 200km/h on very shallow water, almost hovering above said water. I ask this of you, as I am a traveller and I happen to be traveling with someone who has no fear and exhibits no trepidation when attempting such activities as a bung jump or skydive and as a traveller who not only exhibits apprehension and fear, but cries and excretes on herself when engaging in such activities as spelunking and glacier climbing in which you have to squeeze yourself through tiny openings where the ice has melted...some of which have only enough space for an anorexic to slide through. I ask this of you, as I may be gently pressured into attempting one or all of these extreme activities for the sheer amusement and entertainment of that of my travel partner...not because she is evil, but more because she feels it is important to face one's fears. So with that said, I will leave you with this...I think it is high time that you face your fear about feeling insecure or 'less than' when it comes to Australia and just let go of these crazy and insane activities that you might feel makes you bigger and better, and I will agree to be open minded and non-comparative between you and Australia, as I have seen some things today that have silenced me. I do not feel that I must engage in the other 'activities' that you have created in what I can only believe is a feeble attempt to show your brawn and muscle and as long as you provide these tools of horror, the worse it will be...for me.
Yours Truly,
Melissa
PS - Skydives suck!