The Swing

Here we are in Taupo...lovely Taupo...a city of about 22,000 residents. Now I wonder if all these residents partake in the horrific adrenaline activities that Taupo is known for...these being the bungy jump, skydive, ropes course, zip line ride, and the swing...it is actually called the Taupo Cliffhanger NZs Extreme Swing and boy is it extreme. Alex and I have been discussing a bungy since she forced me to do the skydive, which I hated and she has been tossing around the saying my mom always uses..."feel the fear, but face it anyway, "as if that might make me endeavour to actually do one or more of the above mentioned activities.
What is it about facing your fears anyway...when do you get to the point where you just know what your fears are and then avoid such activities that put these fears in your face? I never really knew that I had a fear of heights and just generally fast moving activities, but it was made painfully clear to me after the skydive that I in fact do have those fears and many others, namely anything that might put my life in danger. Funny how, yet again, Alex has bullied me (though she would say gently convinced me with the help of many other random strangers at the bungy jump site) to do the extreme swing.
So, let me take you through this horrific process step by step (yes there are pictures and a video to help illustrate my narrative as well) so that you can live vicariously through this nightmare therefore never having to actually partake in any such activity yourself. So basically, I do all of these things for you all! Aren't I selfless?!
We got there under the guise of, "let's just check it out Mel. We don't have to do it today or at all but we can just watch people do it." What a schmuck I am...I fell for it hook line and sinker. We pushed in along the wooden fence atop a giant cliff overlooking a gorgeous blue lake where a metal contraption was erected for crazies to get harnessed into a bungy of some sort and either jump 47m/154ft to the lake below and bounce back up and then down again and then up etc...or swing from 44m/144ft across the crystal clear lake in a 180 degree arc again back and forth. We watched several of these crazies do both and let me tell you, they were all smiles and giggles and laughs and high fives.
Alex coyfully moved us into the main lobby area, "to just talk to them about prices and inquire about packages, but nothing more." Again, I believed her totally and found myself asking loads of questions about the DVD packages and the T-shirts, not even thinking that there would be a mild push to engage in one of these jumps there and then. All of sudden, Al had the paperwork in her hands. "Let's just fill it out and leave the date blank so you can think about it some more." Hmmm, that sounds a bit dodgy I thought, but I want to be cool, even at the tender age of 33, I want to be cool and that is the dang truth!
So, paperwork filled out and there it was...wait for it..."Mel, I think we should do a jump today right now. I think that if we leave it you won't do it." I guess I half expected this, as she is an adrenalin junkie and we were sitting atop a gold mine of adrenalin fueled fun (more like death for me, but fun for her). The rest is a bit of a blur minus a brief discussion I had with a group of guys who had done the swing and told me it was not scary at all...a lie...and a discussion about a white dove that flew by and it being a sign from G-d that he is at peace with me doing a jump...another lie. All of a sudden, I had changed clothes from a dirty dress to some stinky leggings and a nicely stained top and was getting weighed and trying on bungy T-shirts.
How did this happen?! Now we had been watching several of these jumps for about an hour so I knew that the girl who pulls the swing cord to release people to their 44m fall likes to get you to wave at the spectators and while you're waving, she releases you so you aren't holding on...very crafty, but I knew her game. Once we walked...well I was dragged a bit...to the harness platform, I told her that I knew her game and I would not be waving to anyone...not 1 person. My hands would remain firmly planted to my harness ropes and that was that. She smiled and then another guy came over to fit my harness. Can you even believe that I would get the "new guy" on his first day to fit me for my harness?! Of course you can because this is Mel we're talking about and these things just happen to me. Alex had the professional bungy jumping master fitting her and I had the new and nervous, I might add, guy fitting me for mine. Luckily there was a double check by the girl, as he forgot to do the front bit...why G-d, why?!
You then have to walk down some stairs, my least favourite stairs that are made of holey metal so you can see the river below and have no back to them so your foot could slip out from the back. I seriously had to peel my fingers off the chain link fence to walk out to the platform from the stairs. Once on the platform 44m from the river and surrounded by a rocky canyon on the left you have to take off your flip flops and start the mental process of accepting that it IS going to happen and you ARE going to do a jump. It is there where they do their final triple checks and strap you into the swing, which is basically a strap that you sit your bum in...The whole time I was discussing how much I did NOT want to do it well more like crying about it and whimpering. She said I didn't have to do it, but I got a T-shirt damn it and what would I tell people!? I had to do it and luckily this swing is not something you do yourself; they have to release you via a cord. It was so nice to look up and see that not 1, not 2, but 3 busloads of Japanese tourists had just arrived to watch Al and I do our tandem swing...head shaking, feet rubbing together frantically, tears rolling down my face, yes there were tears again...oh yeah, and Alex smiling with sheer pleasure and excited thrill at every moment...we were them hoisted up off the platform and over to the left so that we were dangling, yes dangling over the edge. The lady them closes the safety gate and we are left there like worms on a hook until she pulls the cord and them...WHOOSHHHHHHH and AHHHHHHHHH, we are flying.
I swear the first 3 seconds of free fall took my breath away and I could not even scream, but after that it was all horrific and bloodcurdling yelps and moans and I believe I must have said, "I HATE THIS" about 1,000 times, as well as "GET ME OUT" and many more expletives that are not age appropriate for this blog. They say that the worst part is the initial drop, but then you have to swing back...it's physics really so no control there...and then back and forth a few more times until they them hoist you back up 44m/147ft to the platform where all the Japanese tourists took millions of pics of us and gave us...well probably me, as Alex was just laughing and smiling the whole way down...a roaring round of applause. How embarrassing!
Once you are back on that platform, it is like a little slice of heaven. All over...you can touch the platform floor with your feet and you get to go back up the stairs to the lobby and get your pictures and DVD, which are all as unattractive as the skydive. Funny how Alex always looks good in these photos and videos, but I look a wreck! I think the only words Alex said about this swing were, "again, again!"
I swear the rush of happiness and joy that filled my heart when it was all over were a bit short lived when I was reminded that I agreed to do a half day ropes course tomorrow...and I promised, as Al has pointed out to me. I do not even have the strength to describe what horrors await me for tomorrow at 10:30am so I will leave you with this website (www.rocknropes.co.nz) to look at so you can get an idea of what kind of blog you can expect. Oh, and Alex is still working with me in regular therapy sessions about going back after our ropes course as it is only a half day, and do a proper bungy...so the swing wasn't a proper bungy. I cannot win.