A Chilly Welcome to Chile

I know that I am not the best when it comes to saying goodbyes, and this has continued in my travels when we have to leave one place and go to another...especially from country to country. So, I was already sensitive about leaving New Zealand and if I am honest, a bit scared about going to Chile when the incident occurred. We made it to the airport in plenty of time to check in, wander around the airport and eat a yummy salad before getting onto the plane. The very short (both in stature and temperament) airline employee nosed into all of our flights and some personal information before telling me that I had to pay $131 to get into Chile, which was actually $140 and was just an overall little turd for lack of a better word...but this was not the incident to which I am referring.
We got onto our flight and to our seats (the row in the middle, yuck) and settled in for our 11 hour flight and a 13 hour time difference that we most certainly felt when we arrived. The flight was long, but uneventful really...we watched so many movies and television shows and that made the time fly, but we both could not sleep and we were so tired when we eventually landed. Then, as you do, we went through immigration where I paid my reciprocity fee and we got our bags. Drug dogs were everywhere sniffing people and bags and even though we didn't have drugs on our person or in our luggage, it is always nerve racking to watch this process...no doubt because Alex and I love to watch a show called Banged up Abroad where the cameras interview various people, some still in prison some out, who have tried to smuggle drugs into foreign countries and have been busted and subsequently have spent years and years in some horrific prisons around the world. Anyway, this was not our problem so we went through customs where they re-xray each and every bag of luggage again before you can leave the airport and this is where the incident began. We completed our Declaration forms on the airplane and after reading the back, decided that we had nothing to declare; however, I have now learned that a nut is considered a vegetable in Chile, vendura for any of you who may be travelling to Chile in the future. We put our bags in the x-ray machine, fearless and confident, and were then told to bring our bags to a separate desk for a search...and then they found it...our tiny bag of nuts that we saved to snack on for the first few days we were in Chile until we identified food that would match our rigorous diets...well just food that we wanted to eat really.
The woman found these nuts and checked my form and asked me why I checked Nothing to Declare when I clearly had something to declare...this was all in Spanish, as was the entire process, as human rights do not exist in this country and they will not offer any interpretor to anyone. She ushered me and Alex to some seats where a Canadian man with a bag of raisens, two Japanese people with 2 bags of Pistachio nuts and one local Chilean woman with a huge cheese ball sat awaiting their turn in "La Oficina." The dreaded Oficina...the woman filled out some paperwork...again all in Spanish...and then made me sign it before my trip to "La Oficina" and feeling a bit like a criminal. I was scared...I cannot lie and so was Alex. We were all being humiliated while sitting in those chairs, as many Chilean airport employees passed us by snickering and saying some rude things in Spanish...I could only understand a few of their rude comments and I can only imagine what drug dealers go through...not that I can compare myself or that of those poor other tourists who were right there with me. The Chilean woman was going mental so I will just leave her out of this.
Eventually I was beckoned to "La Oficina" for my "interview," which again was all in Spanish and I too had to respond in Spanish. Basically, my argument was that nuts are not mentioned on the list of foods that you cannot bring into the country and when she told me that they were a vegetable, I argued that point as well...in broken Spanish, but I really tried to get my point across. I tried to explain that they are considered a protein and not a vegetable, but this 1) did not translate properly and 2) she did not like back talk and I noticed this very early on so I just said..."lo siento y soy estupida y es un error." She liked that a bit more than my protein argument and then she typed some things into the computer, took a copy of my passport and gave me a Citation...I also had to pay a fine, which enraged me and I regressed back to my protein argument and the fact that nuts are not listed on the form or anywhere in the airport, nor did the dogs sniff them out, but this fell on deaf ears.
Alas, I walked out to my other fallen comrades and Alex and told them the news of my punishment and that I now have a permanent Chilean record for trying to bring nuts into the country. We all gave a little cuddle and Alex and I left...I was angered to an extreme but learned a valuable lesson...

Nuts are a vegetable, not a protein.

End Note - I did Google this fact and nuts really are a protein not a vegetable, and I just want to get that last word just in case that Chilean airport worker ever learns English and then reads this blog. Ha ha I win!