How NOT to pack for a trip around the world

We had discussed this adventure for ages and saved money for years in preparation for a trip around that world. Everything you could possibly think of was taken into consideration...our jobs, bills, medications, immunizations, mail, student loan payments, important documents, airline tickets, visas...the list is seriously endless, but when it came to packing, we really dropped the ball...at least I did. I packed like an asshole.
I am not sure what I was thinking when I packed my backpack. Maybe I was too focused on the first aid kit. I mean, it wasn't like we were packing last minute like I usually do when travelling somewhere for a long weekend or even when I go home to Austin to visit my family and friends. We had YEARS to prepare for this trip...and I would like to note that Alex has taken an around the world trip previously for a few years so she should have mentored me through this process. However for what ever reason, she failed me big time! And don't think I don't remind her of this every single day. It should be noted though, that she did pack and unusual amount of green and purple tank tops/vests, which are two colours that we both have grown to hate after 3 months spent in a purple and green Jucy van, but otherwise, she did alright with only a few blunders to speak of...please read further for those.
When I was about 22, I even took a course on how to backpack...yes, there is a course you can take at the University of Texas alternative learning about backpacking. I took notes, as you do, and even had these notes in hand and still managed to pack the completely wrong things. For example, I packed 1 pair of leggings and 1 tank top, but didn't forget my 10 sun dresses and 6 bikinis...I don't even wear bikinis and we spent the majority of our trip in uber Muslim countries where showing flesh is a no-no.
I packed 3 pairs of underwear of which I have lost 2 and 3 pairs of socks of which I have lost 1 pair. It is not good folks. I have NO warm clothing...I mean none and neither does Alex, but luckily we both have a waterproof rain slicker/jacket that when worn over 3 tank tops and 4 cardigans offers some sort of warmth. We had to purchase warm woolly hats while hiking Mt Bromo, as the temperature was in the single digits. I have no hiking boots and just wear my Mr Bowerman Nike trainers/sneakers on each and every single hike, trek, tramp, long walk, run, jog, or anything really that requires non-flip flops and due to the multiple submesions in water and mud, they smell like poop...and Alex is in the same boat there with shoes and our trainers must be destroyed as soon as possible.
Basically the entire backpack is just a big joke and every time we have to get dressed we laugh and laugh and just continue to talk about what dicks we are for packing the way we did. For example, you don't need 10 bikinis when travelling around the world, as 2 are quite sufficient. Also, make-up is totally useless and unnecessary, as is a large bag of toiletries like special face exfoliant pads and masks to reduce the size of pores...not needed and heavy. You can also get away with maybe 1 or 2 sundresses, but 10 is just ridiculous and you will need many more pairs of shorts and trousers than dresses for the numerous hikes and other physical activities that require appropriate athletic clothing...I am sure you have enjoyed some of the pictures of me in dresses with sneakers on or that one outfit where I was literally wearing my pajama pants with a dress as my top and a grey cardigan with my woolly hat and my rain jacket for warmth...I think Rachel made a comment on flickr...thanks Rachel...yes I am aware of my wardrobe issues and malfunctions.
Alex gets away with it a bit more, as she only brought leggings, jeans, shorts and tops so she looks a bit more appropriately dressed for travelling. I will say this though, I have built a very strong sense of self and really don't care what people say or how they snicker as I hike by them. I won't let something like the complete wrong outfit stop me from hiking mountains or having fun and that is really all that matters, but in the future when we take our next trip around the world I may pack differently, but I won't do anything else differently, as this has truly been a trip of a lifetime...in the worst outfits known to man.