Mid-life crisis

I am not sure if every traveller goes through the crisis of self or crisis of career when travelling, but Al and I are certainly experiencing the latter...I think I am a bit more apprehensive about than Al. She tends to just take life as it comes, where as I am a bit more, what's the word, manic about it. It is truly a foreign concept to try and picture myself back in my old life in England, waking up at 7am, marching myself to my Children's Services office dreading the red light on the phone indicating messages of what dramatic explosion occurred over the weekend or evening. Al and I find ourselves discussing this quite regularly in fact and yesterday I was explaining that I have been quite deep in thought about the issue when I humourously jested that I must be going through my mid-life crisis. I expected Alex's staple response of, "oh no Mel, you are far too young to be going through that!" However, I was met with a silent pensive glare and the comment, "well, if you only live until 66 this would actually be your mid-life crisis." Needless to say, there was a bit of silence...so what is a mid-life crisis anyway? Usually, I picture a balding man in a red sports car having just dyed his graying hair. Maybe he has a young filly on his arm...maybe he just bought a pair of leather trousers. I know, very stereotyping, but this is what I picture. Now, I am not balding (though a bit gray and Alex pulled a hair out of my beard the other day) and I don't really want a sports car or leather pants, but I do find myself deep in thought about my current life and paths I've taken...choice of career, places I've lived and travelled to and most of all, what the hell am I going to do when this experience is over?!?! Alex and I both discuss this over and over again. Sometimes we come up with the grandest notions and career ideas that it makes us giddy with imaginative excitement, while other times...the more focussed realistic times, we talk about going back to old spaces and routines and saving for the next big thing! I suppose it is only natural that we reflect so deeply and regularly about our lives and futures, as something and momentous as this is bound to have an effect and make an impact on our fantasies. Since the beginning of this trip, I have pondered becoming a veterinarian, opening an animal rescue in India, opening a tourist activity business, becoming a scuba diving instructor, becoming an English teacher, becoming a writer, re-training in nutrition opening up a fitness/wellness retreat with Alex as the fitness expert, remaining a Social Worker and working abroad has crept into my mind, but so has becoming a travelling hippy vagabond so you can see my dilemma. Alex tends to be a bit more grounded in her thoughts...they are all centred around fitness, being active and helping others. She really is quite a steadily strong person who is committed to the things she knows and enjoys and I do envy this about her. She is also very good and enjoying the day (the Carpe Diem syndrome), which is why I think we travel balance each other so well. I, on the other hand, tend to be a bit more...well, body on the earth/head in the clouds I suppose. It is the running joke that every new activity we do or place we volunteer will inevitably become my newest most sought after career path in life...scuba instructor for crying out loud! Alex does her best to humour me and we just move on, but here we are, 5 months in. G-d how fast 5 months go and how dreadfully close it is to returning to earth...whatever will I tell my head? Alex and I have spent these months and will spend the upcoming ones having so many experiences and adventures that will truly shape us and impact our lives and futures so I suppose I just have to patient...my best quality. Maybe there will be this grandiose sign, but I am guessing it will be more like me making a decision, being afraid but fighting through it and taking that leap...being a bit fearful, but a bit fearless...