May the force by with you...or is that Star Wars?

Trek number 4 and counting...not a 5 star trek, but certainly not a no star trek either! We have just returned from a 2 day, 1 night trek through the Chiang Mai jungle, which was actually quite exhilarating, but certainly geared towards the tourist rather than the hardcore trekking enthusiast. We spent the first day taking a very bumpy and nauseating ride up to the base of the jungle, after first visiting a rather dull butterfly farm and a rather lovely orchid garden. Once we arrived at the base of the jungle, we proceeded to trek for 30 minutes or so to a Long Neck Tribe village centre where we were met by several very quiet Long Neck tribal women selling scarves and various bits of jewelery and other ornaments. It was a bit staged and pantomimish, but we still enjoyed walking around talking to these women. We even saw a young boy squeezing and grabbing a rat that was running around and swinging it by the tail throwing it at a small group of female travellers, much to their delight. Alex also found a large satellite dish, which took away from the whole "tribal" aspect of the tour, but never the less we did have fun and enjoyed learning about this new culture. There are many myths regarding the Long Necks and how they came to wear these rings. Some believe that the women began wearing these rings to prevent tigers from biting them while they worked in the fields, but the more reasonable explanation has to o with beauty, wealth and finding a husband. It is believed that by wearing these rings, their necks are actually elongated, but after a bit of research we discovered that this is not true...they simply give the illusion that the neck is longer than average. The muscles, however, do become weak and should a women commit adultery, her rings will be removed and she will be forced to spend the rest of her life lying down, as she would be unable to hold her head up unaided. Needless to say, there are very few issues with adultery and/or divorce in the Long Neck tribe. Men do not wear such rings.

After spending some time in the village centre, we trekked onwards and upwards for about 3 hours until we reached the Long Neck village where we were to sleep for the night in a bamboo hut that sleeps about 12 "comfortably" on bamboo mats with musty blankets beneath mosquito nets. Al and I quickly scurried to the two corner mats and laid claim immediately and then decided to explore the surrounding village. No sooner than we left our hut did we find a litter of brand new puppies that we forced to love us for hours. They looked like Island of Doctor Moreau pig/puppy half breeds and we cuddled them until it was time for dinner. Dinner was your basic mixed vegetables with rice and it went down a right treat. We all sat around the table they had set with candles discussing the trek and getting to know each other when a tiny Long Neck girl just climbed right smack dab onto my lap. Now, I thought it was due to my uncanny connection with children and felt pretty chuffed with myself that she chose me out of all the travellers to sit on, but soon realized that this 5 year-old merely wanted to play with the fire from the lit candle that was sitting directly in front of me. Yes, she did play with the fire lighting random packets, rubbish and napkins alight much to her pleasure and my horror. Her parents were nowhere to be seen and each time she dropped hot wax on her hand, she just wiped it away as if nothing had happened. It was quite evident that this was not her first rodeo with open fire. Let's just hope that no one from the Chiswick Post is following me and prints a picture of this, as my career in Social Work would be over forever.

After this horror show, Alex and I found a nice front row spot directly in front of the big bonfire, as the temperature dropped significantly and we did not pack warm enough clothing...we were frozen within 20 minutes of leaving the fire. We decided to turn in a bit before everyone else so that we could get situated and as comfortable as humanly possible for what we were sure would be a horrid night's sleep...and we were right. Cue pitch black darkness, strange jungle sounds, random travellers snoring/farting/moaning/whatever, drafts of freezing air blowing all around...you get the picture. We pretty much stayed awake the whole night counting down the minutes until sunrise and the morning bonfire so we could thaw out. Some people actually took showers in the make shift icy stream water shower...Alex and I refused.

The next morning we set off on a 2 hour trek to the activity area...this is where all the tourists come for their activities...some for the a 1 day trek to just this location and others from the 2 day and 3 day treks. Here we rode an elephant, which brought up mixed emotions for us, as all animals should be free, but we talked it over with our guide and met with the elephants and their trainers and decided to go on a ride and feed them tons of bananas. I must say that if I had to be an elephant that gave rides to humans, I would much prefer to be a Thai elephant than an Indian elephant. They were treated much better and fed a lot, were allowed breaks and cared for by their owners. Feeding an elephant is certainly an experience...their trunks are so warm and moist near their nostrils and they suck and grab bananas and food with it, as well as suck water up it for a cool drink. What I didn't realize was that they also blow hot stinky air out of it and when I got my face right up to it (don't ask me why I got my face right up to it...I just don't know) he blew at me and it pinged! After the elephants, we went on a "relaxing" bamboo boat ride, but relaxing would not be the word I would use to describe it at all! First of all, it sank throughout the journey, second of all it got stuck on a rock during the ride and a large piece broke off rendering the boat half submerged in the water and finally our seats were car tires...oh and the sun was beating down upon us mercilessly.

We arrived at our buffet lunch soon after this bamboo boat ride feeling refreshed and relaxed as one would after such a magical ride. Our buffet lunch was...well what one might expect a buffet lunch in the middle of the jungle to be like and then off we went to the white water rafting site...this was quite fun. It certainly was not as good as the white water rafting in Bali, but what made this one interesting was the competitiveness among the rival trekking groups. Each boat held about 6 trekkers and these became our teams. We wanted to be number one and each time we passed an opposing raft, we would splash them and frantically paddle to get the front spot. Now we all know that I am just NOT a competitive person at all, but for some reason, white water rafting really brings out the Paul Gasscoigne (circa 1996) /Lance Armstrong in me...well not as much as the guy who leaped from his raft to ours whacking his face on someones knee causing his tooth to fall out. Please have a look at the pics to see the aftermath of that injury. His girlfriend was less than pleased to say the least. We ended the second day with a waterfall view and time for swimming, which we declined, as we were frozen from the white water rafting. There were a harem of cats and kittens at this waterfall so we entertained ourselves with them until it was time to return to our hostel for a warm shower and a good night's rest.

The very best part of the entire trek, we both agree, was the hiking. It was stimulating to the heart rate and mostly uphill and downhill with very little straight level bits. I must express my extreme pride in myself that I not only stayed within the front 4 people at all times, but I did not slip or fall once...and we were going fast I might add. Awesome, huh??? Look at this almost 33-year-old with achy cartilage free knees and legs made primarily of cheese keeping up with all the 20 somethings...oh yeah!

Today we went to the Chiang Mai Women's Correctional Institution for our inmate massages and took an evening Thai cooking class, both of which were amazing! I also got a Thai haircut (Alex declined) and we sorted out our transport to Laos. Tomorrow we will be leaving Thailand which brings me much melancholy, as this country is literally the land of smiles, peace and beauty. We will discuss the Thai cooking and Inmate Massage in an upcoming blog, but in the mean time, please pray for us as we are embarking on a 20 hour bus extravaganza to the city of Luang Prabang on a new adventure in Laos.