Hole trumps slide every time!

So, we all read about my humiliation on the slide a few days ago and once our new Australian friend, Kelly, sends me the video of it I will post it so everyone can see my ultimate humiliation. However, there is always tomorrow and the next day and the next to experience ultimate humiliations galore Luckily, there are others in this world that also experience humiliation and that makes people like me very happy. Cue Fraser, our new Scottish friend and his lovely wife, Gubby (they were featured in a previous blog). Well, yesterday was Fraser's 31st birthday and what better way to spend that day than with new friends tubing down the Mekong River drinking buckets of cheap liquor and free shots made from rubbing alcohol and live bumble bees...whooooo. So off we all went in a tuk tuk filled with excited young adults (well some of us older than others) and the roof totally piled miles high with 10 rubber tubes for a day of high adventure on the Mekong River. Of course we were all going to be safe and smart, as there have been urban myths (though some true) about the travellers that die on the Mekong River while tubing, but mostly due to jumping into shallow bits of the water where there are sharp jagged rocks...but not us, as we are all safety conscious, especially Gubby and I, as we mapped out the safest possible places to take a plunge from the swing or fly off a slide or 2 so we were not worried. Basically, you gracefully plop yourself into a rubber ring tube and just accept that all of your bits will be frozen off within moments and begin your rapid ride along the current until you get smacked in the face with a full water bottle (the 1 litre size I might add) attached to a rope of some sort of which you grab, as bartenders and DJs pull you onto their make shift platforms and stairs leading to a somewhat delicately built riverside bar for free rubbing alcohol shots with drunk dying buzzing bees at the bottom of the bottle desperately trying to escape. In one corner, there is a picnic table with red and yellow bits of cloth cut into strips with permanent marker to write phrases on such as "Jew's Rule" and "Go Gooners Go." There were other more flavourful comments, but I will just leave that to your imagination. In another corner, there are hoards of 18-23 year-olds guzzling cheap whisky mixed with coke and baby bottles of Red Bull in colourful buckets with multiple straws for all to enjoy (interesting concoction if you have never indulged, interesting and disgusting mixed together)...did I mention it is only about 12:30 by this point. Music is blaring, people are un-rhythmically dancing and then out of the corner of your eye, you spot the spray paint table. This is a table where you will find various cans of spray paint in all colours and some squares of cardboard cut into randomly shaped stencils, like stars and hearts...and of course there was a penis shape, as we all know some young boy had the brilliant idea to make that stencil...bless! People are screaming and jumping and heading for the swing or the slide and after about 30 minutes everyone gets into their tubes and rides down to the next bar and the phase continues...and when I say everyone leaves, I literally mean every single person in unison leaves to the next bar...it is amazing. You can look back to the first bar and see that it is totally and completely empty. Now, Fraser was having his birthday and that means he would most likely be getting rather drunk...he is Scottish after all. He and his wife decided that to mark the day, they would take 31 pictures with random people and Fraser for a bit of a laugh and a bit of a birthday challenge so off they went. The rest of us, me, our 3 lovely Australian mates and another Jewish couple (Rachel and Ben) we met (they were totally awesome because they were Jewish...and because they were just awesome) sat along the edge of the bar sipping our drinks watching Alex ride the swing over and over again. She eventually got a technique down in order to extend each ride and get higher and higher with each go...what a nutter, but very entertaining. After a few hours of this, we decided to head to 1 more bar before the end for a nice game of mud volleyball. Since I had to take photos, I did no engage in such a sport. Can you imagine a bunch of drunk 28+ year-olds sliding and slipping around in the mud...trust that there was not much volleyball going on. Needless to say, this is when my redemption comes in, as poor old drunken Fraser covered in mud, rolling around offered the clip of the day for all of our enjoyment. It was time to leave and we all were heading over to the hosing off station when Fraser just disappeared...where could he be...we searched and searched until we discovered him in a massive hole hear the volleyball pit that was filled with rocks, some random wooden bits, debris and a Fraser...bless him. We all gathered around the hole after laughing hysterically for about 5 minutes or so (Alex peed herself again from the sheer magnitude of laughter) and pulled our boy out...then to just add insult to injury he slipped on the side of the pit in true drunken fashion and landed smack down on his back in a pool of mud. What a shit day for Fraser, but a great day for me. No more discussion of the slide, no more fake laughter from yours truly...I was freed. Free at last, free at last, thank G-d all mighty I am free at last...and I have Fraser to thank for that as well as G-d! From that moment on, we all discussed the "hole incident" and how Fraser just disappeared. Even after we separated and went to our respective hostels for a shower and a nap and then re-met for dinner hours later...it was NOT the slide incident we discussed, but the hole incident and the pictures as well. What a day for Melissa...what a day! Happy Birthday Fraser and thank you so much for giving me the gift of breaking free from my humiliation shackles that have been binding me for years...death to the slide, long live the hole!