Welcome to Pleasantville

We arrived in Singapore about two days ago and it was such a culture shock to us that there are few words to describe what we were feeling and thinking as we disembarked the airplane. Just the airport in and of itself was an amazingly beautiful place and I would have happily stayed there for the entirety of our time in Singapore. They offered you sweets when at customs...sweets...can you believe it! It was like an environmental museum with plants and water arranged in a kind of feng shui manner it leaves one feeling quite relaxed and at peace. It was very apparent that we had been somewhere dirty and disheveled, as we were the most unclean people in the whole of Singapore and for the first time in 10 weeks, we were both embarrassed and ashamed that we hadn't bathed in 3 days and were wearing clothing that had not been washed for over 3 weeks (which we considered very clean in India and would probably get a few more wears out of those clothes). We came across several computers on stands that offered free, yes free, internet access for those passengers arriving and disembarking planes. I think we are going to love Singapore. As we walked to the MRT (Singapore's extremly clean, efficient and user friendly metro service), it became quite apparent that we were in an alternate universe where Pleasantville and Kero Kero Kerropi met, got married and gave birth to a baby called Singapore. Everyone is smiling and everything is clean and there are strange/quirky/colourful Japanamation style cartoon-looking character statues and pictures displayed all over the place. This place is an Obsessive Compulsive's dream come true! There is NO litter anywhere to be found...they do not allow food on the metro system...they do not even sell chewing gum in the whole of Singapore. And, with punishment such as 5 months in jail and 3 lashings with a cane for painting graffiti on a wall, there is little in the way of crime here. You can even drink the tap water...Everything is so bright and shiny and safe and women can wear what they want without fear of being stared at or having sneaky mobile phone pictures snapped of them. I think Al and I were overwhelmed by it all and so focused on eating sushi (as well as forgetting that we were not in India anymore) that we just decided to plop ourselves down in the first sushi restaurant we found and eat up...backpacks and all! We figured that if we can find hostels so easily in India (which is a far less organized and developed place than Singapore), then finding a place to stay here would be a piece of cake, but this is Melissa and Alex here so nothing ever goes to plan. It might have been the fact that we arrived on National Day (Singapore's birthday) with a jet air show/fireworks/dancing etc..., or the fact that it was the Chinese New Year, or even that fact that it was the start of the Hungry Ghost month (in which the Chinese residents of Singapore believe that for 1 month of the year, the hungry ghosts roam the streets and if people don't put edible offerings out for these ghosts, they will haunt them and bring them bad luck for the rest of the year. So as you walk around, you see plates of food and candies and money sitting outside front doors surrounded by incense)...perhaps the fact that the Youth Olympics is going to be held here starting tomorrow, but for whatever reason, there was NO place to stay that was not over 300+ Singapore dollars (about 150 pounds per night). So let me recap...we slept in hell our last night in India, followed that up with a 6 hour flight to a country that has so many events happening on the same day that every single hotel and hostel is booked, as we are just casually eating a maki roll reflecting about how India almost broke us and here we are in heaven. Fast forward 6 hours later (about midnight)...still no hotel...2 hysterical breakdowns later (by yours truly) and a trip into a place called Little India (wow how that took us back to India in 3 seconds flat...curry houses everywhere, the smell on incense in the air and hundreds of men starring and snapping photos on their cell phones) and some blessed bell boy at the Intercontinental Hotel told us about a "cheap hotel" across the street where we settled for two nights. Happy Birthday Alex followed and our last 48 hours have been filled with walking in and out of monstrously huge shopping malls with items that are far to expensive for us and anyone really to afford followed by a gorge-fest on sushi and veggie ramen noodle soup bowls. We also spent some time in a pub overlooking Chinatown and met a very depressed 41 year old man (though he looked about 23 - great skin) whose parents both died and he lost his youngest sister with Downs Syndrome a mere 3 months ago. He is still hung up on his ex, who left him 2 years ago and lives in Holland. Bless him, but he was the head bartender at this club and sneakily went to McDonald's and bought Alex a special cinnamon roll birthday cake and a Singapore Slinger to celebrate. I swear it doesn't take long to meet the down trodden and offer some therapeutic input when it comes to me and Al. Bless Al, she hates cinnamon as well so I had to eat the whole bun and she pretended to love every last morsel...it was the least I could do. I mean, he put a blue candle in it and sung Happy Birthday and did a little dance for her as well...yes, he's gay! We have also managed to run a few errands and find a cheaper hostel called the Hive. It has a great traveller vibe and the rooms are spectacularly clean with a common area that offers free internet access, free local calls on the phone and a television with DVD player to share. There is a kitchen and a washer/dryer as well. It is significantly cheaper than our previous Hotel 81 and much quirkier. We have been ripped off once already, which enraged us and we were forced to take several deep breaths and count to 100, but our lessons have begun again for Singapore and we will not make the same mistake in the future. Helpful Lesson #1850: When travelling through Asia, if someone types the price of something into a calculator, it is an most definitely an inflated price and a big fat lie and you must look back at this person in disgust and tell him that you are ashamed that he thinks you are stupid enough to fall for that price and then walk away...whether you know how much the product should be or not...in Singapore, this is a particularly helpful tip when trying to purchase any sort of electronic. IT may also be quite effective to make some comment about karma, going to hell or even being haunted by the Hungry Ghost if you can decipher which religion/belief system that particular scam artist practice...just for added effect. This concludes our lesson of the day.