Indo 'get me the hell out of here' nesia

So, we finally escaped the island of Batam to what we thought we be the start of our Indonesian adventure...but in a relaxing and enjoyable way...boy were we wrong. We got massively ripped off for a freezing ferry ride to a city called Pekanbaru, which I read was a place where travellers go to pick up buses all around the Island of Sumatra. It would appear that most travellers go to the Island of Java where Bali is, as this is a very touristy and beachy place, but the direction in which we decided to travel and the lack of time we have to spend in Indonesia has left us with few choices and after speaking with a Swiss man, we decided to stay to the north of Sumatra and travel around. Let me just preface that Indonesia is 88% Muslim and it is now Ramadan so finding anywhere to eat is virtually impossible and travelling by bus/coach/taxi is challenging as well, because if you are on the road to your destination and the sun goes down, it is time to break the fast and you WILL stop and you WILL partake in the breaking of the fast at a strange open plan cafeteria where they bring you plates of unidentifiable meat (at least it won't be pork) and rice and some boiled water and tea and you eat with your hands. We are now vegetarians so our dinner consisted of white rice and whatever one vegetable there is on offer...we have had some very bitter spinach, some string beans, and something that we aren't quite sure what it was...perhaps some sort of coconut?? You eat with your hands and wash them in a bowl of warm water when you are finished. This meal was consumed after we left Pekanbaru by first catching a mini van called a opelet to what we thought was the bus station, but there are no signs, no Internet schedule no nothing in relation to the bus schedules so you basically sit on the side of the road and try to explain where you want to go and just hold your breath and hope for the best. You get inside the opelet, which is a minivan that has been gutted minus a few bench-like seats around the perimeter and then they stop suddenly on the street and tell you that you need to get on this random We were lucky enough to be riding in the opelet with a few young girls who spoke a tiny bit of English and they were able to help us understand that we just had to get on this next unmarked bus...and so we did. This was probably the worst bus ride in the history of all bus rides, as the driver was insane...certifiably insane and needs to be sectioned. He drove like a maniac and continued to pick up passengers along the way, despite there being NO seats available. There were some very interesting Indonesian people getting on and off this bus as well...like the morbidly obese young girl with special needs who did NOT like to be touched and was chewing on a straw. She also carried a purse in the shape of a cow...there was also a family of 8 all squished into the front seat and seemed quite happy to do so, as Alex and I offered the extra seat near us, but they did not oblige. The driver was speeding and overtaking everything in his path and when he decided to overtake another bus that was not aware he was doing so, an accident occurred. It is funny how you kind of think these things might happen in your mind, but then think...there is no way it will happen despite the foreshadowing of events such as the overturned bus we saw a few moments before our accident or the multitude of street signs warning you of falling rocks and sharp cliffs to either side. Well, it happened. The driver swerved to avoid hitting the bus in front of us that he was illegally overtaking and then over corrected and we swerved back and forth about 6 times hitting each side of the mountain (luckily we were driving between a mountain and not along a road with cliffs on either side) and the bus whacked into each side of the mountain with bits of bus flying off and babie3s crying and kids screaming and all the while, the loudest Indonesian music was playing throughout. It was like a scene from a movie and it was all happening in slow motion...we almost tipped over, but just barely managed to stay upright...thank G-d! Now, normally after something like that, the driver would check on the passengers and make sure everyone was alright...but not our driver. He manically jumped out of the bus and ran back to the other driver to yell at him and curse him out in Indonesian...we can only assume that he was cursing him out so Alex and I asked around and offered everyone some sweets (but they are all fasting so that was not something anyone partook in). The babies were screaming and crying, the young girls were all crying and holding each others' hands and the two 90+-year-old ladies were just praying with tears in their eyes. We all kind of bonded at that moment and it didn't matter that they were all Muslim and we were white and Jewish and whatever...we all almost died and felt attached. We eventually started to drive away to a rest stop to assess the damage to the bus and get on a new bus, when all of a sudden, the driver turned the bus around and drove back to the other bus and grabbed a lead pipe from the back of the bus and ran after him to beat him...just to note he was standing outside in front of his family (5 children) and his pregnant wife. We were all screaming at him to stop and I was screaming out the word psycho asshole, which was totally lost in translation, but make me feel better. We eventually got to the rest station and went to the toilet to freshen up, but pissing down a hole into a local river with snails and G-d knows what else beneath you with no toilet paper and a cement tub of "freshish" water to wash off is just not that soothing for me...and just to add insult to injury, they actually charged you 1000 Rupiah to use this facility. A lovely woman paid for me, as I think she was so traumatized by what had just happened that she felt a bit motherly towards me and then she vanished into a nearby mosque to pray...probably to give thanks for saving all of us. We got onto another bus and said our goodbyes to the people from the first bus...one of the older ladies said, "please don't forget me because I will never forget you!" On our second bus, we met a young student studying midwifery at a college in Bukittinnggi and she helped us order only vegetable and rice when we stopped to break the fast with the bus. A little boy offered us Oreo cookies as well...bless the people here, they have so little and give so much! We made it to Bukittinnggi, 1 near death experience and 1,000 bug bites later and found a shit hole to stay in...just to reiterate, there is very little to no running water in this country so you shit/piss down a hole that you flush with a bucket of water and you bathe in similar fashion with a bucket of freezing water collected from the rain. We did meet a rather lovely, yet moody and flat affect man who does jungle treks for 6 days, but what sets these treks apart from others in the area is that you actually stay with an Indonesian tribal family deep in the jungle. So, this is where we will leave you for now...we will return from our jungle trek with 3 Spanish boys, 1 Frenchman and our little tiny Indonesian guide named Moley. Not sure what to expect...kind of scared...kind of excited. Have no idea what to expect, but I am hoping that this experience will change the title of my next blog to Indo 'never want to leave/love it' nesia!