Same same, but different!

Well folks, we made it out alive and after all that, it was actually well worth it...we are now safely tucked away in Probolinggo (a shit hole) awaiting our 7 hour bus ride to Yogyakarta, which is supposed to be fabulous! We spent 3 very full days and 2 nights with Natalie and her family and they were so wonderful to us both, but we will still need to vent about a few things in this blog (i.e. being paraded around like cattle, constant negativity about our travel plans to leave Natalie and her home town, etc...). From Natalie's hometown in Siduarjo, we went to Cemoro Lawang to hike the famous Mt. Bromo and other amazingly giant and somewhat intimidating mountains that have lured many a traveller over the years. There are NO words to describe the beauty of Mt. Bromo, but please view the pictures to get the tiniest idea of just how magnificent it truly is. However, in spite of this trekking adventure, as well as a little real Indonesian life adventure, the one thing that sticks out the most is the phrase, "same same, but different." This is a saying used all day everyday here in Indonesia and it also finds itself on bumper stickers and t-shirts alike. The Indonesians LOVE to say it when discussing anything with foreigners as a way of being close yet far from people from all around the world. We have thought about this saying and seen numerous examples of in our daily experiences here in Indonesia and although some of what you will read next is a gross generalization, this is merely what Al and I have been experiencing first hand during our time in Indonesia and we want to share it with you.
Same same, but different - Examples
1) Bus Rides
Same: In Indonesia, much like in the USA and UK, one can get a bus pretty much anywhere and there are always many different characters on these bus rides as well. There are always loud mouth teenagers, quiet little old ladies with shopping, that weird strange man and perhaps a stinky person or two, and this is no different here in Indonesia. There are also either discerning colours or perhaps a pattern of some sort identifying that this in fact a bus, and although it is a bit trickier to identify a bus here in Indonesia, once you find one, you can notice some particular patterns that stick out.
Different: The speed in which the drivers in Indonesia drive is horrific and varies from one extreme to another. For example, as you have read, Alex and I were almost killed in a bus accident in which the driver was driving like a maniac and today, on our bus ride from Mt. Bromo to Probolinggo, the driver never passed about 20 mph the entire ride...it was shocking and a bit painful. We think that we would rather nearly die by racing around a mountain rather than just snailing down.

2) The Love of Shit Food
Same: Ok, so we all love a bit of junk food..Americans and Briton's alike, and Indonesians are exactly the same. They love either an extremely sugary treat or a very salty snack and anything fried is most definitely a go. Alex and I had the pleasure and joy of being forced to try numerous delicacies such are snails, fried chicken's feet, some other fried things that are unidentifiable and sweet drinks with gelatinous jelly bits at the bottom coloured with syrups of only colours that do not exist in nature...a real treat let me tell you. Again, please see the pictures for a photo gallery of what we have been subjected to over the past few days. Additionally, with this mass consumption of food and beverage lacking in any nutritional content, comes lovely diseases such ass diabetes and high blood pressure/heart disease and both of Natalie's parents suffer from these afflictions.
Different: The main difference here between USA/UK and Indonesia is the outward appearance of people, as there are few obese people here in Indonesia (minus of course Natalie's son, Nathan (see pics), but their eyes are yellow where they should be white, while Americana's and Brit's tend to wear their unhealthy appetites like a scarlet letter 'O'. It is amazing to us that although the foods are all fried and laden with sugar and salt to an extreme in all three parts of the world, the outward appearance differs so greatly.

3) Parenting
Same: It is quite clear that there is love and attachment between parent and child in Indonesia and the UK/USA and this is evidenced through cuddles and kisses and so much more! There are even similarities with over-babying, as we have both seen in USA/UK in our jobs where children can be a bit over-protected and over-babied as well as here in Indonesia. For example, Natalie still feeds Nathan with baby spoon, dresses him fully as he lays in her lap, won't let him jump, as he may hurt himself and not allowing him to eat boiled sweets, as they are sharp and may cut his throat.
Different: Ironically, despite the over-babying practice that we witnessed by Natalie for 3 very full long days, she takes Nathan on her scooter with no helmet, he has no bedtime and often was awake with us playing on the Nintendo DS until midnight, she left Nathan with Alex and I alone on numerous occasions to 'babysit,' while she disappeared and she has done this with random older men she that have stayed with her as well and (our personal favourite) he farts and burps to his mother's giggly delight with no repercussions or reprisals. Now, Natalie is not a bad parent by any means and she loves Nathan to death, but Al and I have both been around some amazing parents (Julie, Matt, Anna) and none of that would fly...ever!

4) Religious Loop Holes
Same: There are all types of people in Indonesia and UK/USA practicing all types of religions and it is wonderful to be around so many different belief systems and traditions and we have loved spending time in Indonesia where there are mainly Muslims, Hindus and Christians...and the one main similarity about all these religions is the loop holing. We can across this so many times it is unbelievable. Some examples include: Muslims breaking their fast for an array of reasons such as feeling tired, Muslims and Christians engaging in anal sex before marriage, as it is not considered "sex-sex" and this is allowed in the eyes of the lord (a direct quote from Natalie). Additionally, tampons are not to be worn, as this is seen as some sort of sexual impropriety, although Natalie wanted to learn how to use them, as we taught her and this is allowed because she was previously married and has a child. (On a side note, it was very strange teaching a grown woman how to use a tampon and then listening to her talk about her tampons usage around random male strangers that we met when we went to Mt. Bromo, as they were staying in our Home stay. It was kind of like watching a 14-year-old girl behave when she first learned how to use cuss words or a tampon or learned anything about sexuality...Natalie was a very young 30-year-old and very immature...we were embarrassed most of the time). Hindus (who believe in karma) ripping off travellers mercilessly with prices of anything and also renting out dodgy scooters that are broken and when you return it to them two hours later, they charge you a day's rental fee as well as petrol fee (this happened to Alex and I and explicative were used). We both know that similar religious loop holes occur in USA/UK so it is nice to see that this all happens the world over.
Different: The only main difference is the sheer number of Muslims in Indonesia compared with the number of Muslims in USA/UK. Indonesia is almost 90% Muslim.

5) Teenage Obsession with Facebook
Same: This is just the craze that has taken over the world...literally! Everyone has Facebook and it doesn't matter where you are from or what religion you are. It is downloadable onto all the mobile phones, therefore never missing a minute of the excitement and gossip. Your popularity is only measured by the number of friends you have on Facebook and anything under 300 is just...well...not cool! While we were staying with Natalie, her mobile phone was permanently attached to her hand and she was checking her Facebook to see who said what on whom's page and what he said back to her...too much really.
Different: The obsession with Facebook seems to lie with the teenage population in USA/UK, though I think there may be a few adults out there harbouring a secret obsession, but the majority of Facebooks devotees or obsesees are teenagers, while they are young adults here in Indonesia. Natalie is 30 years-old and would often time ignore Nathan's comments or questions, as she was too wrapped up in what her Italian boyfriend's had written on their wall and how random women would respond to these comments. It was painful, but luckily Alex and I were there to entertain Nathan and babysit while Natalie fed her obsession.

6) Hiking
Same: Now everyone (well, most people) love a bit of nature...the smells, the sounds, the beauty, the fresh air. And there is really not better way to experience nature than by hiking all the glorious mountains scattered around the world! Well, that is what the Indonesians do on a regular and I do know some Americans/Brits that do the same. There are so many glorious mountains in this world and Alex and I hiked up a few spectacular ones this morning starting at 3:30am and finishing at about 11:15am...we woke up early to hike in the pitch black darkness to the base of Mt Bromo where there are 236 stairs leading up to the first peak to watch the sunrise, but as it was pitch black and we had NO idea where we were going, we ended up passing right by it and heading to the opposite side of this huge gorge that is surrounded by countless mountain ranges and hill tops all belonging to the Bromo-Tengger-Semeru National Park. We made it to what we thought was Mt Penenjaken, another hugely gorgeous (like 2770m high huge) Volcano that you can hike up to one peak and then push yourself up a steep tiny incline for another hour to witness some of the most breathtaking views we have ever seen, but again we were on a totally different hill (though I thought is was a mountain, as it felt like a bloody mountain when we were climbing up it, but a very rude French Canadian traveller corrected me when I said mountain, so it is a massive hill) and took pictures at a view point only to discover that Mt Penenjaken was just to the right of this hill so of we went to conquer that one and see Mt Bromo and all the mountinas and hills from another angle. From each angle, you can see Mt Bromo gurgling up white smoke from the steaming crater of Mt Bromo...gorgeous.
Different: The main difference we noticed while hiking in Indonesia is that most tourists (bar me, Al and two French Canadians) opt for jeep/motorcycle/horse tours up to these mountain tops, while the Indonesians all trekked up themselves. Perhaps it is different when in our own countries, bur it was interesting to see and a staunch difference as well.

7) Hospitality
Same: Now some of the best hospitality we have ever experienced has been in our hometowns in Texas and London, but this is usually from people/family/friends that we already know...feeding us, taking us out, getting us gifts etc...and this is very similar in Indonesia as well. Another similarity is the race to clean the house before company arrives, and Natalie invoked the help of her lovely father to help clean the house when we first arrived to her home. To be honest, despite the babysitting and zoo animal feel, it was genuinely a lovely time and we were even able to visit Nathan's school called Untung Suropati to volunteer a few times with teaching English and socialization skills while we were there. It has been very difficult to find agencies to volunteer at here in Indonesia, as there are virtually NO agencies focussed on supporting women effected by DV, which Indonesia is fraught with or even agencies supposing child in need. It appears that the government only offer these services to other government employees and unless a foreigner comes over and open their own agency with their own money and support, but the somewhat corrupt government does not help with this. With that said, schools are everywhere and knowing Natalie certainly helped us to get inside and actually work with some kids so that was fun! Basically, we were spoiled for 3 days running and fed to our gills in extremely gross fattening super sweet and super salty fried foods, and driven around to Surabaya (about 40 minutes) and then to Cemoro Lawang/Mt. Bromo (about 4 hours), as well as taken out for meals and paid for! It was a real treat and a few nights of babysitting and a few cameo appearances at Natalie's friends' and family's home was well worth it in the end. In the end, we just became a part of their very short Chinese family and it sort of became...well...normal.
Difference: I suppose the main difference was the fact that we were and kind of still are total strangers to Natalie and her family, and in our experience it is very rare for an American or Brit to take in total strangers to their home from a bus ride and allow them to be left alone with their children and be allowed to drive with their 7 year-old child on a scooter with these two complete strangers (yes, we drove a scooter with a child on it with NO helmet). We both just feel that you would be hard pressed to actually find an experience like this in America or the UK.

Well, that wraps up the same same, but different experiences Al and I had over the past few days and I am sure there have been and will be many more. Ultimately, it was a very special experience we had with Natalie and her family and they embraced us and took us in and we even found a 100,000 Rupiah note hidden in the depths of our backpack, which her father had left secretly for us to pay for our night in the Home stay on Mt Bromo, as we refused his money numerous times. They gave us a free place to stay, tons of yummy food/drink, a DVD player, a scooter to use, laundry facilities and guided tours around multiple towns all for free and without question, but most of all they gave us a closeup glimpse into the life of a Chinese Indonesian family and it showed us that we are all the same with many issues and family dynamics and dramas and stories and histories and family traditions and rivalries so after all that I guess we really all are same same, but different.