What happens when a lesbian and a Jew walk into Swastika Spices in Jew Town?

Absolutly nothing! So we spent our first day in Fort Kochi walking around the bonny little area exploring all of the hostels, homestays, cafes, art museums, schools, shops, etc...It only took about 30 minutes to get around the whole area so we decided to explore some of the sites highlighted in the Lonely Planet Book, which we find are hit and miss...i.e. the Taj Mahal and Dutch Cemetary, but we remained ever open-minded and optimistic about our adventures. So, off we went around the "beach" with the muddy water that made us feel sorry for the sea and down to our first stop...Jew Town. It still makes me giggle when I say it...Jew Town. Just to clarify, there are no Jews living in Jew town and there is 1 synagogue and one Jewish cemetary, but all the streets are called Jew Street or some other derivation of the word Jew. We did happen across a little cafe called Swastika Spices on Jew Road and went inside expecting a brawl, but it was dozy and nothing much was going on...how ironic...swastika spices on Jew Road in Jew Town. We made our way down the narrow maze-like roads to the oldest synagogue we have ever been to and that was a real treat! You were not allowed to take any photos of it, but we captured it in our minds. The floor tiles were all different pictures of chinese scenes all in blue and white and they covered the uneven floor completely. The lighting fixtures in the the building were quite spectacular actually and all lookedlike they came from some antiques market. They were symmetrical on both sides of the room, despite looking like they were all different. They were both electric and candle lit and some had coloured glass. We can only imagine how gorgeous it must look at dusk when they are all alight with the rabbi on the pulpet that is centered directrly in the middle of the room versus in the front near the ark that holds the Torah. Women sit upstairs only and we weren't allowed to go up there. We sat inside for a while and then walked around the circumfrence of the building and there were several stone tablets with Hebrew phrases etched on them. It was a gorgeous temple built in 1534. We got back to the hotel room, which has been the worst one so far, but there was a television with 5 channels in English so we tucked into a night of 2 star movies including Ed (the movie about the baseball playing monkey with Joey from Friends) and The Amytiville Horror with Ryan Reynolds. Fabulous cinema indeed here in India! We fell asleep before House Bunny came on...Damn! Yesterday, we just lazed around a bit...not really in the mood to get out and go, but we eventually got up and walked towards the peir to catch the Jetty to Ernakulam, as we heard a rumour that there was an English Movie cinema adn a Pizza Hut there...we are such lame travellors, but we cannot take another curry at the moment. We passed a little place that does tattoos and decided to pop in to see what that was all about...well, needless to say, Indian tattoo shops are just unacceptable and leave it at that, but we did meet these two really lovely Indian guys named Faizel who is 35, ut looks about 15 and Shaiju (pronounced Shy Jew...hehe...) and he looked his age of 26. Faizel was born with his feet on backwards and on opposite sides. His father wanted to have a surgery done when he ws 1, but his grandfather said that Faizel's feet were good luck. Hmmm, Faizel just kind of sits around getting stoned all day, has turned his back on his Muslim religion even getting tattoos and pretty much does nothing so not sure how lucky it is, but he can walk and gets around quite a bit. We hung out for a bit and played some weird card game called Donkey, which in retrospect was totally made up (like Cups in Friends) and of course, I had to lose the game and guess what the loser has to do...well, you have to choose some card at random (mine was the Jack of Diamonds which was 32 into the deck) and the winner goes through the whole deck of cards one by one until my card comes up, but each card that shows up that is NOT your card, you have to say "I am a Donkey," while wearing some weird mask and tail that they made to look like a donkey...in smaller towns they make you parade around the town with the outfit on! Luckily, I did not have to parade around the village, but needless to say, we said our goodbyes quickly after that humiliating experience and did not accept the invitation for a re-match the next day. I am NOT an ass! We got on the Jetty, another joyous boat ride in India, only to discover that the English Movie Cinema was closed until 6:30 that evening (Shrek 3 was playing), but we did eventually find the mecca...the Pizza Hut and we ordered a salad and a medium deep dish veggie pizza that was the size of a child's meal so we ordered some starters as well. It was our only meal of the day so don't judge us. We made our way back to the hotel for some more riveting movies including Scarface, which was actually a good one and Sex in the City 1. That was a good night! Today we awoke to a thunder storm, but not a normal thunderstorm, but one that could be confused with some bombings and a possible terrorist attack so we armed ourselves with the baby flashlight (which is coming in very handy Dad!) and the water in case of nuclear meltdown. We did make it out for a lovely breakfast at a place called Tea Pot, which is this quaint little cafe that is filled with decorative teapots and pictures of teapots (including a rather naughty one in the toilet). The food was lovely and the tea and coffee went down a right treat! Alex got some chocolate cake and it was divine! So, of course, this is Mel and Al so there will be terrential downpours all day and night when we have to catch the blessed overnight train (our favourite) back to Goa for a few weeks of volunteering with the GAWT and exploring the north part this time around until we meet Wendy in Delhi! Not looking forward to the train ride, but we have our bed bug/mosquito arsenal at the ready...long leggings, long sleeve cardigans, socks, bug cream for our skin, bug spray for our "beds," the plug in bug eliminator and prayer. Wish us luck as we head out.